PLOT SUMMARY:
Offering a practical way to unlock and open up neural pathways in the brain, DiGangi reveals concrete steps that show readers how to harness their emotions, even ones that are painful to feel, and use these emotions to their advantage in life. When people feel rejected, they behave in defensive ways around others that reinforce the very system creating the rejection. Through eight specific “neuroenergetic codes”, readers will see how to work with their intense emotions in the toughest of situations. In this world, we will have pain; in fact, there are no circumstances in which people can avoid all pain. Therefore, using real life examples, understandable scenarios, and useful exercises, the author guides readers to pinpoint and choose their “more powerful pain”—choosing a pain that expands people rather than the pain that constricts them and makes their world smaller. Staying emotionally effective in the face of uncertainty, becoming more centered and self-supported, and detecting the brain’s patterns has far-reaching affects on relationships.
EVALUATION:
DiGangi is able to explain the neuroscience of the mind with tangible examples that readers will be able to connect with. She illustrates the power of the brain as a pattern-detection instrument. She reveals how, through habituation, people can turn some of their biggest fears into something that no longer takes their energy. These fears can indeed become neutralized. Honing in on some of the most common avoidance behaviors, she explains that the “OVERS” are the strategies we use to avoid pain: overdoing, overworking, overcommitting, overgiving, etc. There is one problem with this: while decreasing pain short-term, these strategies typically magnify and intensify pain in the long run.
Digangi also identifies the danger of lying from the perspective of neuroscience: Often, individuals abandon and betray themselves when they lie to please others or avoid conflict. Digangi reveals how this sends a signal through neural pathways (to the brain of the person lying) that something about their truth is unacceptable. When individuals lie to avoid a conflict, they start a war within.
THIS BOOK IS APPLICABLE FOR THE FOLLOWING:
-Leaders in the work force who wish to inspire others:
“Your job is not to be inspiring. Your job is to be inspired and trust that others will find you inspiring. Your job is not to worry about influencing others. Your job is to improve your ability to influence yourself.” –DiGangi
-Anyone who wants to bridge the gap between where they are and where they would like to be:
“It’s only when you’re (often unconsciously) consumed by your own painful emotions—like anxiety, fear, and doubt—that you attempt to control others.” –DiGangi
-Couples who want to see stronger, more authentic relationships centered on revealing oneself rather than hiding oneself:
“There’s an emotional math to your relationships. If you change a little, the relationship will change a little. If you change a lot, the relationship will change a lot. It is impossible for you to meaningfully change and for the relationship to stay the same.” –DiGangi
-Readers who desire to see more options. Options that will transform their pain into something worthwhile:
“The truth about pain is you can never eradicate it; you can only transform it. There is no energy on the planet that can be destroyed.” –DiGangi
-Discouraged individuals who feel stuck in a situation that they do not like, but feel they cannot escape:
“All codependency means is you don’t know how to regulate your own nervous system so you try to get somebody else’s behavior to do it for you.” –DiGangi
-Individuals struggling with PTSD
“Things like hypervigilance, feeling constantly on guard, or being unable to sleep may save your life if you’re in a war. It’s when people return home to safe environments but the safety-seeking behaviors persist that the pathology sets in…. PTSD is not about dangerous things becoming dangerous; it’s about an inability to see safe things as safe.” –DiGangi
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