(Podcast with Aundi Kolber, author of Try Softer)
Recommended Podcast by Crystal King
On the Restoring the Soul Podcast, Michael Cusick interviews the author of the book Try Softer. Kolber uses her own story of hustling and “white-knuckling” her way through life to explain why “trying softer” has been a life-changing mentality for her and for others struggling with anxiety. With a Christian focus, Kolber gently combines some of the truths of Christianity, the human body, and neuroscience to dismantle some of the false mindsets around what actually helps people to thrive. She advocates for an approach that elevates compassion rather than “white knuckling” one’s way through life.
“When I say ‘try softer’, what I’m essentially saying is that I am learning to teach others how to pay compassionate attention to their experience too.” (Kolber)
“We are living in a cultural moment in which this is the norm….we are taught to ignore and suppress, we are taught to shame if means that we are productive, if it means that we meet the status quo…” (Kolber)
“If we are still in unsafe situations….we can’t do the deeper work yet. The first thing to address is really stability. It’s not even feasible to say let’s do deep trauma work if we are still experiencing the trauma….Our body has to actually be in visceral safety to help us orient to safety in the here and now before we can go back and allow the parts that are traumatized or wounded to experience that as well.” (Kolber)
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