Couples Healing from Pornography Addiction

By Sam Tielemans, LMFT

Sam Tielemans has created a podcast for couples who are feeling hopeless, defeated, and cannot see the path forward to reconnection. They are in pain over betrayal and it shows up in the marriage in a variety of ways. They feel like they are drowning in a constant loop of effort without seeing results. As a licensed marriage and family counselor, Tielemans has worked with many couples who feel like their marriage is shredding at the seams. While Tielemans’ podcast covers numerous topics that couples will relate to and feel seen in, he specifically addresses how to help men break free from pornography and restore connection with their wives. Restoring trust and connection can be one of the biggest hurdles after the addiction has ceased, but Tielemans’ wisdom helps couples navigate this with a practicality that works.

While this podcast’s focus is on helping couples heal from the specific addiction of pornography, the tools and strategies offered can support couples through a variety of connection struggles. Whether they are dealing with pornography or any other addiction, the support offered in the podcast episodes can apply. Process addictions, dealing with behavior (porn, gambling, shopping, people pleasing, overworking, etc.) or substance addictions, dealing with a chemical (drug use, alcohol, etc.) both create patterns of betrayal, distrust, and disconnection in a marriage. When one or both partners are regulating their emotions with avoidance strategies, a chasm will inevitably grow between them.

The patterns of disconnection that show up in a marriage are addressed in this podcast with clarity, simplicity, and kindness. Tieleman has a way of moving right into the heart of the issue and concisely describing what is happening.  Not only do listeners feel that someone gets their struggle, they now have highly practical ways to address it. He does not leave listeners wondering what steps to take next. Because Tieleman uses real life examples from his counseling work, listeners often find themselves thinking, “That’s my story too! That’s exactly what we go through!”

Episodes cover a range of topics that come up for marriages hurting from pornography addiction, but the same patterns apply to marriages of other addictions as well. Topics include anxiety, hypervigilance, betrayal, pornography, safety, trust, coping mechanisms, sexual intimacy, triggers, discovery, numbness, lust, fear of failure, etc.  The focus of this podcast is to help couples heal from all the stuck places they find themselves in after breaches of trust have created a giant crater between them and left them aching for connection again.